


anything less than 'i love you' is lying

by mrsonmyr



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 10:16:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsonmyr/pseuds/mrsonmyr
Summary: This is what happens when you lie to your brother and ask your accountant to be your date to his wedding.





	anything less than 'i love you' is lying

**Author's Note:**

> title is from friends, lovers, or nothing.

It was an unusually cold Thanksgiving, everyone in town was expecting it to snow soon. Aurora Lynch had invited all three sons and any significant other or friend to celebrate Thanksgiving at the Barns this year. Declan replied right away, saying he and his girlfriend of three years, Cleo, would be coming down from DC for the weekend. Matthew, always the first one to get a call from his mother, was bringing a few of his friends from school who couldn’t afford to fly back West for the holiday. Ronan didn’t reply, but his mother knew he would show up unannounced. She didn’t mind, as long as she was able to see her boys. 

Declan Lynch worked at a high end accounting firm in DC, sometimes when he is filing taxes he sees some high profile politicians names and he giddily tells his girlfriend when he gets home (he never reveals their names. “ _ Dec, that’s no fun, why bother telling me if I don’t know who!” _ ) He was quite popular at work, he had his father’s charm and good looks, the ladies liked to chat with him at lunch or when he’s making photocopies. No one knows  _ how  _ good Declan is at his job, but he’s been there for five years now, he’s competent enough. Adam Parrish, however, was very good at his job. He started eighteen months ago and has already received a promotion. Adam always excelled in school and nothing pleases himself more than being able to excelle in his field. The only downside about being the  _ new guy _ is that no one really talks to you. Sure, people ask how your day is or what your weekend plans were, but no one really stops and gets to know you. Adam didn’t seem to mind that much, he had his friends outside of work. 

The week leading up to Thanksgiving everyone in the office was thrilled, they got Friday and Monday off. Adam had no plans, he didn’t speak to his family in Henrietta anymore, and his best friend Blue was going up to New York to visit her newish boyfriend who was getting his Masters from Columbia. They’ve been dating for a while but she had just started telling people that they were official. Blue knew that the holiday season was hard on Adam, especially being left alone. She offered for him to come up to New York with her or to go back to Henrietta and spend it with the ladies at 300 Fox Way. He politely declined, telling her that he was happy to have a few days to himself and to enjoy getting to see her boyfriend. 

Adam was in the break room, waiting for the new Keurig to brew his coffee, when Declan came in holding a few file folders. 

“Parrish,” he nods at him, reaching to get his mug from the cupboard, now also waiting for the new Keurig to brew Adam’s coffee. “Any plans for Thanksgiving?” If Adam noticed one thing about Declan it was that he was polite. He knew that Declan could care less about what Adam Parrish was doing for Thanksgiving.

“Nothing, really. Might binge watch stuff on Netflix, now that I have the time. You going home for Thanksgiving?” He was embarrassed to know that Declan was also from Virginia, why did he have so much information about him when they barely spoke?

“Yep, Mom’s having everyone over. Gonna be a big feast.” He looked around to make sure no one else was in the room when he said the next part, “I’m actually planning on proposing to Cleo, my girlfriend.” 

“Wow, congratulations. That’s exciting.” Adam takes a sip from his hot coffee. 

“Yeah, I’ve got the ring and everything. We have a beautiful farm where I grew up. It would be a perfect spot to do it.” 

“Well, good luck. Not that you’d need it, I’m sure she’d say yes.” Adam recovers. 

“Thanks, Parrish. Well, I’ll see you around. Lotta work to do before the holidays.” He raises his mug slightly and leaves Adam. Adam checks his watch and sees he has a few minutes before his next appointment. He’s been filing his clients taxes all week. 

He walked back to his office and pulled up his clients file on his computer.  _ Ronan N Lynch.  _ Lynch. Related to Declan? If so, why wouldn’t Declan be dealing with him? He was in today to have his financial records organized and it said in the notes to help suggest ways of spending. Did Declan schedule him in? He looked up to see a tall man, head shaved and wearing a leather biker jacket, who looked exactly like Declan. If Declan wanted to scare away children. 

“Ronan?” Adam asked, standing from his chair and extending his hand. 

“Yeah.” He sat across from Adam, not taking his hand. 

“Okay, what can I help you with today? It says here that you need your financial records organized and something about ways to cut spending?” Adam always felt professional, but looking into Ronan’s eyes he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. 

“My dick brother, you might know him,” 

“Declan.” They said at the same time. 

“Yeah, he wanted me to come in. Our dad left us money after he died and he feels that I’ve been  _ overspending. _ ” Ronan did not seem impressed by Declan’s concerns. 

“Okay, well I can certainly help with that. Did you bring a copy of your last W-2 slip?” Adam asked, looking back at his computer now to sift through Ronan’s files. 

“I didn’t know I had to.” He tells him. 

“That’s alright, we can make this work. Are you working right now, in school? Just to give me an idea of what your yearly income would be and roughly how much you’re spending a month.” 

“No, I’m not in school. I’ve paid off all my schooling already. I work at an art gallery, doing commision work mostly. So some months are better than others.” He did not look the least bit artistic. 

“Okay. Well I have your past tax returns on here and I will be able to start to organize your financial records for you. Are you trying to start a business?” Adam’s not entirely sure for the reason of his visit other than Declan clearly wants him to stop spending their father's money. 

“No. Like I said, Declan made me come to this. He said that you were  _ the best _ .” 

“He did?” Trying his best to hide his excitement. Adam’s hands are folded on his desk, Ronan was looking at them. “Well, that’s very nice of your brother to say. I can give you a call when I’ve got this organized. Your number is on file. Is there anything else I can do for you, Ronan?” 

“No. I can leave now?” He gets up when Adam nods his head and leaves, probably before Declan can find him. 

At the end of his day when Adam’s packing up his briefcase, Declan knocks on his office door. “Hey, do you have a minute? I just wanted to ask you about Ronan, he’s my younger brother.”

“I could tell, you look the same. Well, you have more hair.” Adam puts his briefcase down. 

“I appreciate you dealing with him. Ever since our Dad died he’s been… well a mess. I just fear that he’s going to spend all his money and have nothing left in his savings. I mean, he’s an artist, he doesn’t really have a solid income.” Declan has clearly put more thought into this than Ronan. 

“Hey, it was no problem. I’m going to organize his records and try to come up with a budget he might be able to follow based on his past yearly spendings.” 

“You’re the best, man. Hey, have a good Thanksgiving.” He said and knocked twice on his door when he left.

-

Holidays at the Lynch’s always seemed like they were put on by a Lifestyle and Home magazine, the house always smells like cinnamon and it was decorated perfectly for each season. But it was all Aurora. After her husband died it seemed like the entire family shut down, except for Declan, he did his best to look after his brothers and mother. Soon, after joining some community groups she decided to renovate the house and make more space for the farm. Ronan was not happy that his childhood home didn’t feel the same anymore, he would complain about it every visit. Why did a farmhouse need to look modern? Matthew was thrilled that he got to redecorate his room. 

By the time Ronan arrived on Saturday night there were already five cars in the long driveway. Who the hell was all here? Declan offered him a ride down with Cleo on Friday afternoon when she was finished work, but he declined, he’d rather choke than be stuck in a car with his brother and his girlfriend for two hours. Ronan got out of his car and shivered in the cool air, he could see someone standing on the front porch. It was Cleo smoking. Declan said she just did it when she was nervous, but after knowing her for three years Ronan thinks she’s gotta be nervous all the time or it’s more than just a coping mechanism. 

“Hey,” she said, blowing out a long puff of smoke. She had a short black bob and usually wore red lipstick. Ronan didn’t know what she saw in Declan. She offered Ronan a drag of her cigarette. 

“Where is everyone?” He asked, taking the cigarette from her manicured fingers. 

“Inside, I think playing board games. I needed some space. Your mom will be happy that you’re here.” 

“Yeah. I had a showing tonight that I couldn’t get out of.” He didn’t. He just didn’t want to be surrounded by his family for an entire weekend. 

“Hmm. How’d that go?” Cleo took her cigarette back. 

“Fine.” 

“Sell anything?” She took a long drag. 

“No.” He wasn’t lying then. 

“It’ll happen.” She said and dropped the butt onto the gravel, stepping on it. “I’m sure Dec will be thrilled that we’re out here smoking.” 

Inside the house was booming. Loud yells from the kitchen made it sound like there were twenty people in here. Cleo walked to the kitchen table to sit in Declan’s lap, she peeked at his hand of cards and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Ronan shook his jacket off and hung it by the door. By the amount of shoes sitting on the mat he knew there were more people here than just his brothers. Here heard someone yell “Pongo!” Like it was some new card game they were playing. Ronan slowly approached the kitchen taking in the scene. Declan and Cleo at the end, Matthew and three of his friends scattered in the middle, and at the other end was his mother, looking radiant as ever. She had her robe on and was holding a stack of cards, watching as the others laid cards down and quickly snatched them up. Finally she was able to yell Pongo but as she did she looked up to see her middle son standing there and instead yelled, “Ronan!” Everyone at the table swiveled their heads to see the new guest. 

“Hi, Mom. Sorry I’m late.” He said, taking his mother in his arms. She smells like home, no matter what happened to this place, as long as he could smell her he’d knew he was at home. 

“Don’t worry about it, darling. You’re here now. Are you hungry?” She let go of him but stroked her hand across his face. She could feel his stubble on her palm. 

“Ronan, come sit,” Matthew said patting the chair beside him, “we’re about to start a new round.” 

Soon after Ronan settled in Aurora trailed off to bed. An hour later Cleo was the next to go. Then two of Matthew’s friends who were sharing the pull out. Declan, deciding he didn’t really want to be alone with his younger brother went up to bed. Matthew followed. Ronan turned the kitchen lights off and carried himself up the squeaky stairs, when he reached the top Declan was coming out of the bathroom. 

“Hey,” Ronan said. Declan, hand on the doorknob stopped. “We share a wall, I can hear everything. So don’t try to get some Thanksgiving action tonight.” Declan rolled his eyes. 

“You’re so gross, Ronan.” He opened the door and quietly shut it. If that was Ronan he would have slammed it to send a message. 

Ronan laid in bed in his room. His mother said she wouldn’t turn it into a guest bedroom but it felt like that. He tossed and turned, struggling to fall asleep. Part of Ronan wanted to get up and lay in bed with his mother, she would hold him and pet his arm until he fell asleep. But he was too old for that, even though he knew his mom wouldn’t mind. The bright morning sun woke him up too damn early. He checked his phone and it said 6:07. Ronan rolled over, putting one of his pillows over his face to block out the light. It didn’t work. He decided to go downstairs and find something to eat. Of course, Cleo was the only one awake. 

“I made coffee,” she said sitting at the table, reading an article in the paper. She and Ronan were still in their pyjamas. 

“Thank fuck.” He said and poured himself a cup. He sat across from her. 

“Sleep okay?” She asked, not looking up from what she was reading. 

“Why does it matter?” Ronan said, putting an ungodly amount of sugar in his black coffee. 

“Just making conversation.” She looked up now to take a sip of her drink. “Declan is happy you’re here.”

“I don’t really give a shit what Declan thinks of me being here.” 

“That’s fair. He seems really excited for this weekend, like, it's only Thanksgiving.” Sometimes she didn’t understand her boyfriend. 

Ronan remembered what Thanksgiving was like when his father was alive. The way he’d carve the turkey, how he would lead everyone in prayer and say that he was most thankful for his beautiful wife and handsome sons. How he would fall asleep on the couch conveniently after dinner while Aurora would clean the kitchen. He remembered him taking the boys out back and showing him how to shoot the gun at beer cans. Only Declan was allowed to actually shoot, he said Ronan and Matty were too little. Ronan thinks that was when he started to rift with Declan. 

After breakfast, Matthew took his friends into town and Declan and Cleo said they were going for a walk. Aurora and Ronan were in the kitchen trying to prep the turkey for dinner. Some years she would say, “you know, your father would always help with this and he’d be cursing like a sailor at this bird. ‘ _ Jesus H Murphy! ‘Rora you bought the biggest fucking bird you could!’ _ ” She would say in her best Irish accent. She didn’t really sound like dad, no one did. This year she didn’t. 

“Ronan, look!” She said standing by the window that looked out into the field. She saw Declan and Cleo walk hand in hand out to the field and then saw her eldest drop to one knee. Ronan looked over his mother's shoulder to see enough. 

Thanksgiving dinner was all talk about the upcoming wedding. When were they thinking? Aurora offered to have it at the Barns, Cleo smiled at her soon to be mother-in-law. Declan told Ronan and Matthew he would want them in his wedding party, which Matthew agreed to instantly. Ronan, after looking at his mother and Cleo agreed. 

“Wow, my oldest baby getting married. Dec, your father would be so proud.” Aurora said, getting teary eyed. 

“Thanks, mom.” He said, taking Cleo’s hand. 

Cleo knew instantly that she wanted a spring wedding. She told Declan that they would have to start making arrangements, but the Barns would be a perfect spot for it. Cleo called her family after she got engaged but after dinner she called her friends to ask them to be apart of the wedding. 

“Ronan, it might look odd if you don’t have a date to the wedding. Maybe if you don’t find one by then I could always set you up with one of my friends.” Declan offered. 

“I’m dating someone.” Ronan said without even thinking about it. 

“Who?” Declan sounded a little shocked. He and his brother weren’t close but he thought he would least inform him that he has a boyfriend. 

“Adam.” 

“Adam who?” Declan asked, growing more impatient. 

“Parrish.” It’s the first name he can think of. It’s been floating around his mind since he met him on Thursday afternoon. When Declan told him that he set up a meeting with one of the best accountants in his office Ronan was expecting some old guy with glasses who was on the verge of death, not some young, gorgeous, freckled, numbers god. Who gave Adam Parrish the right to look like that and then hide away in an office all day?

“Yeah okay - wait, what? Adam Parrish? From my  _ work?  _ You’re not dating Adam, you just met him!” Now Declan was actually shocked. 

Ronan, in an effort to annoy his brother to no end, forgot that he actually knew Adam Parrish. He worked with him. He knew him way better than Ronan did. He didn’t even know if Adam was single, let alone interested in men. “Actually, we’ve been dating for a while now.” 

“Since when?” Declan was truly gobsmacked. Was Ronan getting away with this? 

“I don’t know, a few months.” 

“Where did you meet him?” This was a tricky question, he had to choose somewhere that Adam and Ronan would most likely be. He could have said he ran into him at the supermarket but DC was too large of a city to try to pass that off. 

“A bar.” He settled for that. Classic. 

“A bar? You met Adam Parrish at a  _ bar _ ? You asked Adam out at a bar?” Maybe this wasn’t going to work. 

“Get this, Bucko. He asked  _ me  _ out.” Declan looked like he was about to faint. 

-

When Adam first moved to DC he shared his apartment with Blue Sargent. He met her through a renting app saying she was looking for a roommate who was clean, quiet, and not a straight white man. She was the first person he told that he was bi. They’ve been best friends since. A year ago when the lease on the place was up Blue decided she wanted to move out, needing more space for her growing online business of selling Sargent original designs and Adam could finally afford a place on his own. They still lived close, only six blocks away. Every holiday season Blue and Adam would take the train back to Henrietta to spend it at 300 Fox Way. They were always so welcoming to Adam, claiming that his energy was right and that he had a bright future. Blue said he could ignore that if he wanted but they right, she never questioned her psychic family. This was the first year in many that Adam spent it all alone. He remembers being in school and his friends inviting him to Friendsgiving, he didn’t want to tell them that his father was abusive and that’s the reason he doesn’t go home, instead saying the train ticket was too expensive and he was fine to stay. He stocked up on groceries so he wouldn’t have to leave his apartment for the entire weekend, nothing but sleeping, eating, and binging television. Blue called him a few times throughout the weekend to check up on him and to let him know that she made it to New York safely and that Gansey was better than she could have ever dreamed. 

They met online through a pen pal app. Blue was single and not in the mood to actually date anyone but she had so much affection she couldn’t solely focus it on Adam, so one of her friends at work suggested pen palling. Blue had a few pen pals, one in France, one in Peru, and one from New York. Whenever Adam was with her she was constantly texting and sending emails and whenever he would ask who she was talking to she’d just reply “Pen pal. New York. Same time zone.” And she’d giggle at whatever New York sent her. New York was Richard Campell Gansey III. He was doing his Masters in History at Columbia and felt secluded. He decided to pen pal; hoping to meet someone exotic with grande stories to tell that was so different from what Gansey was used to. He was matched with a Blue Sargent from DC.  _ Exotic enough,  _ he thought. They started by sending each other one email a week, either talking about their life or their plans for the future. Soon they would email almost daily, then Gansey suggested they should exchange phone numbers to text and call. Gansey would turn down dates because he knew Blue was going to be calling that night. After months of texting and calling, they decided they should try a long distance relationship. For whatever reason, it worked. Blue, after many Skype dates with Gansey, had only recently told Adam that he was her boyfriend. Adam didn’t get why Blue wanted a long distance relationship. She told him that Gansey was just  _ different.  _ “I’ve never met someone like him before.”  _ You've never met him at all, _ Adam thought.

After a long weekend of relaxing, Adam got back to the office Tuesday morning feeling refreshed. He was waiting in line in the break room to brew his coffee, the coffee at work tasted better than what Adam had at home. He was chatting with Amanda, his one true friend at work, about her weekend. She was the only one who invited Adam out after work for drinks or came to him to get his opinion on what the Staff Lunch should be. 

“You know how families are, you love them until you’ve spent over 24 hours with them. I’m happy to be back.” She said jokingly, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Oh, Adam.” He heard someone say his name. He turned, seeing it was Declan. He wore a powder blue dress shirt that fit him to a T and dark dress pants, Adam remembered what his younger brother was wearing the other day and thought the contrast of the two was hilarious. 

“Listen, my brother begged me not to say anything to you, but I want you to know that I’m happy for you.” Declan had said, no real excitement in his voice. Adam, having no idea what he was talking about said thanks. He got his coffee and went to his desk, needing to catch up on the work he left before the weekend. He thought he was dreaming when he looked up and saw Ronan Lynch tapping on his office door. 

“Ronan?” Adam said, surprised to see him, “What are you doing here? What can I help you with?” Always the professional. 

“I need to talk to you. In private.” He sounded serious. 

“Please, come in. Close the door.” Ronan threw himself into the same chair he sat in last week. “Is there something wrong with your financial records that you need to talk about?” Truly having no idea of the reason for Ronan’s panicked visit. 

“No. It’s not that. Look, Adam. I need you to date me.” He said bluntly. Adam, deaf in one ear, sometimes felt he didn’t hear people right the first time. Often asking them to repeat themselves, he hates to do it but so many times in the past he’s heard the wrong thing. This is one of those times, surly Ronan didn’t say  _ date _ . Not that if he did ask him out Adam didn’t think he would say no. Ronan was extremely attractive, he looked like the opposite of Declan in every way. He remembers last week he kept looking at his computer screen just so he wouldn’t get caught staring at his new client. 

“I’m sorry, you’re going to need to repeat yourself.” 

“I need  _ you _ to date  _ me _ .” He said through his teeth, clearly not fond of asking people out. Was Adam that irresistible that first thing Ronan  _ had _ to come back and demand that he goes out with him?

“I don’t understand,” Adam was fiddling with a pen now as a distraction. 

“I just need you to  _ say _ that  _ we’re _ dating.” Ronan was dragging his hands down his face, stretching his skin. 

“Ronan, even if I wanted to date you, I can’t. I’m not allowed to date clients.” 

“It’s not going to be real.” Ronan said like it was nothing. The same tone used to say  _ it’s going to rain today.  _

“I’m so confused. Are you asking me out or not?” Adam knew what his face looked like at this moment. Whenever he was truly confused, and it was rare, his eyebrows knitted together and his lips perused. It wasn’t an  _ attractive  _ look. 

“Not really, but yes.” Ronan was making no sense. He looked out his office window to look and see that there were actually people around and to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He looked back to see Ronan staring at him, waiting for a response. He gave none. 

“I told my brother that we were dating.” He finally said. 

“Why?” Adam has just met Ronan, why was he suddenly being used in his life?

“Because he’s getting married and he wants me to date one of his friends for the wedding because I guess it's impossible for me to get a boyfriend. And your name was the first one I thought of.” He explained. 

“Ronan, I’m sorry but. That’s a lot and I work with your brother. I don’t want to lie to him.” Why was this even a scenario in his life?

“Please. We can say we’ve broken up for the wedding but I need this. Adam, I’m begging.” He leaned forward on his desk, pleading.

“When’s the wedding?” Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Just keeping up the farce for a few weeks to please Ronan and in turn please Declan who would be happy for his brother. 

“It’s going to be in the Spring. May twenty-fourth.” 

May? Six months away. Having a  _ fake _ boyfriend for six months? Lying to Declan for six months and technically for the rest of his time at the firm always being known as the guy who dumped his younger brother? Lying to Blue? He didn’t even know Ronan, just because he was related to Declan didn’t mean he was a decent guy. All he really knew was that he had a great savings fund from his father and he spent too much money. And that he was ridiculously good looking. 

“And what exactly would I be getting out of this?” Adam said, holding the pen between his thumb and forefinger, tapping it on his desk. 

“I don’t know. Going to sleep at night knowing you’ve helped someone?” Adam didn’t look that impressed. “Please man. I think I’d be a pretty good boyfriend. We don’t even need to go out, just if Declan asks say that we’ve been dating for a few months. Keep it casual. Oh, and if he asks, we met at a bar and you asked me out.”  _ Oh, you didn’t hear? It’s going to rain today.  _ Why was Ronan so calm with it all? 

“A bar? Wait, why did I ask you out?” That seems like the least realistic thing. 

“Because my fucking brother would never believe that you’d say yes to me. It had to be you.” 

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. It opened and Amanda popped her head in. “Adam, hope I’m not interrupting anything but I’ve got the files you asked for.”

“That’s not a problem, Ronan was just leaving. Thanks, Amanda.” Adam smiled at her. Once she shut the door he looked back at Ronan. “Well, thanks for the visit but I think I’m going to have to decline.” Ronan looked like he deflated in his seat. 

“Could you at least have the decency to go along with it if Declan says that we broke up?” Ronan clearly backtracking his plan in his head. 

“I guess,” Adam wasn’t a terrible person, he could play along with that. “He actually came up to me this morning and said he was happy for me. I was confused at the time, but now it makes sense.”

“Ohmygodhestheworst.” Ronan whined, hands covering his face. Then, just like he arrived, Ronan left with an air of mystery. 

Adam was finally able to get back to work with Ronan gone. He got the files from Amanda and worked on them all the way til lunch. He usually packed a lunch but he was out of leftovers so he decided to use his hour to go out and get a sandwich. On his way out one of the receptionists, Carla, stopped him. 

“Parrish I heard you have a boyfriend.” She smiled. Who told her that?

“Oh. Yeah.” Keep it casual. 

“I saw him come in this morning. He’s cute. Didn’t know Bad Boy was your type.” God, did he even have a type? He playfully rolled his eyes at her and kept walking. This was going to be awful. 

-

Ronan left the accounting firm, thankfully having not been seen by his brother, and took a bus back to the studio. He had a commissioned work to start for Noah Cznery, he emailed him over the weekend saying it would be a gift for his mother and if Ronan would send his work through the mail. If not, he was fine making the commute up to DC from Henrietta to pick it up. Ronan, being from outside of Henrietta and spending three and a half years attending school in Henrietta probably knew who he was. Ronan wrote him back saying he sent work through the mail depending on the size of the canvas and asking him what exactly he was wanting done; he was available to talk on the phone for a more precise description. Noah had said that he just wanted something abstract, maybe representing water, and that he wanted it to be quite large so he would just pick it up whenever it was finished. 

Attending Aglionby was never something Ronan was good at. He always said it sucked the creativity out of its students, that’s why Gansey succeeded in that school. He met Gansey on the first day of school and they have been friends since. They eventually moved in together, after Ronan’s dad died, and soon their friendship felt more like brotherhood. Once Gansey graduated he and Ronan moved up to DC, Ronan to pursue his art and Gansey to attend Georgetown. They were happy living in DC, Ronan was happy (except for the fact that Declan lived in the same city), he finally felt like he had a purpose. Then Gansey decided to leave, claiming he wanted to further his education. Ronan never understood that, he already paid thousands of dollars to attend high school and college, why spend any more?

“It’s to further my purpose. A historian doesn’t just learn one thing and call it quits, he searches, hunts, scavenges for the correct information, looking for patterns, trying to find its subjects purpose-” 

“Oh, my god, Gansey. No one really cares, go throw some more of your dad’s money at a school.” Ronan had heard the  _ Historian Monologue  _ too many times.

And then it was just Ronan (and Declan) in DC. He kept busy with his art, not necessarily having to survive solely on commision work. But it was nice to get a paycheck and not have Declan breathing down his neck about spending Dads money. Gansey called Ronan almost daily, technically he did call daily but Ronan didn’t always answer. Gansey said it was good for Ronan to put himself out there, he might meet new people, connect and meet customers, find a boyfriend. It felt like everyone in his life was trying to set him up. He couldn’t really blame them, they’d never seen Ronan date anyone. Instead of a phone call, today he got a text from Gansey. 

_ Ronan, heard Declan got engaged. Please share my congratulations with him. I think he changed his #. G.  _

Yeah right, Ronan thought. If Gansey cared that much he could just tell Declan that himself. He supposed he was “happy” for Declan. Out of all the girlfriends he’s had, and it’s been a lot, Cleo was his favourite. Maybe it was because she didn’t put up with Declan’s bullshit or the way she would always share her cigarettes with Ronan when they would stand outside, needing to get away from the crowd. At least it made his mom happy. She was so joyed when Declan and Cleo came in from the walk, holding her hand to look at the ring. (“Oh, Dec, it’s gorgeous! Just gorgeous!”) Matthew was happy too, but he was always happy. He hugged Cleo and said how excited he was to have a sister in the family. Jesus, is that what she was now? 

He got off the bus and walked a block to the shared art studio. It was a small community of artists who all had their own distinct style. Ronan thought he was the least successful of them all. He constantly saw post-its about how Deandra was hosting a gala, or how Michael was selling some of his old work to make room for his new $250,000 commision for some wealthy ass DC political fucker. (Ronan’s words, not Michael’s.) Ronan unlocked the door to his small studio and pulled his largest blank canvas he had. Usually working with acrylic, Ronan began to lay out his paints and grab the tools he needed. Whenever he was painting he felt free. Free from Declan, free from Henrietta, free from his father. When Ronan’s Dad was alive he hadn’t started painting yet, not knowing what his passion was. His dad always talked about having a passion, claiming his passion was his business and his family. At time, it felt like he was more passionate about his business. The second Ronan picked up a brush he knew it was his passion. Not his father telling him what to do or what to like, but his. 

-

“Adam, you will never believe how amazing Gansey was! He picked me up from the train station and he looked just like he did over video chat and in pictures, but he was taller. And he was muscular. Which, I wasn’t really expecting because he’s such a history nerd. You would like him, he’s funny, kind, so smart.” Blue was gushing over dinner. They decided to get together for dinner when she got back from New York so she could tell him about the trip. 

“He sounds great.” Adam said, twirling his pasta on his fork. 

“He was great. It was like I really knew him, it was like we had been together for years. I’ve never felt like this before.” God, she must really be into this guy. 

“Well, I’m happy for you. You deserve this.” He raised his water glass to cheers her, she clinked her glass of red wine. “He should visit you next, save you travelling.”

“Oh, he will. He used to live here with his best friend so now he’s excited to visit. See him and me. And he could meet you!” Blue was beaming. 

“Sure, that would be nice. What did you say his name was again, Gansey?” 

“Adam, you know his name is Gansey. I literally never shut up about him.” She flung a buttered noodle at him. 

The next few weeks went back to being normal. Ronan must have told Declan that they broke up because he made no further comments about it at work. Adam also transferred Ronan’s file over to Amanda, stating he had too much on his plate and she was better at organizing. Declan was still friendly to him in the break room or if he would see him on the lunch hour. Everything was fine. 

Two weeks later it was Sarah’s “mystery” birthday. She refused to tell the office her age but she did accept the cake Amanda made for her. Sarah was Amanda’s closest work friend. They were hired at the same time and have their offices next to each other. If Amanda wasn’t talking to Adam she could be found talking to Sarah. 

“Adam,” Amanda knocked on his open door, “sign the birthday card?” She brought over a generic looking birthday card with no age in it. Other people signed it with well wishes. Adam found some space at jot down his name and a nice message. “We’re going for drinks tonight at Welty’s. Please come, it will be a lot of fun. Just stay for one drink.” 

Welty’s was a nice bar a few blocks away from their office. It was located just on the cusp of the business district near the West End. It usually has a young crowd, no crazy bar antics but no stiff older white dudes in suits. It was Amanda's favourite and the only bar Adam had been to in DC. 

“Okay. For Sarah.” He smiled at her. One drink wouldn’t hurt. 

“Yes! You’re the best Adam Parrish.” Amanda left and carried on her card signing route. 

Adam ended up staying after hours to finish some work, he texted Amanda that would he be there soon. Once he heard the vacuum of the cleaners he decided it was time to go. Gathering up his black briefcase and throwing his navy coloured overcoat on, nodding goodbye at the cleaners as he left. It was cold out now, two weeks into December, but snow hasn’t fallen yet. Adam, being a summer boy - when his skin would turn golden and his freckles would pop - hated the winter. He hated the Christmas season, people always asking how he would spend the holiday. Where his family was. How happy his parents must be to have him home. Adam can’t even remember the last Christmas he had at the trailer, if you could even call it Christmas. No gifts, no nice meal. The past few years he’s spent Christmas with Blue at Fox Way, that is the closest think he’d consider his family. 

It was a twenty minute walk to Welty’s and he spotted the group right away, sitting in the back at a crowded table. Amanda got up to make room for him as he said hi to the rest of the group. Sarah, Jorge, Katrina, Quinn, and Liam. No Declan, he was relieved at that. He noticed they had all ordered drinks so he went to the bar to try and flag someone down for a beer. As he waited he could hear someone say something to him. 

“Are you gonna ask me out or what?” He turned to his left and sitting three seats away was Ronan. The odds. 

“Not tonight.” Adam said. 

“Too bad. Declan seems quite fond of you. He still didn’t believe that we would make a good couple, but I think that’s on me, not you.” He said, moving over a few seats to be next to Adam. “What are you doing here?”

“Colleagues birthday.” He explained, hands resting on the bar. 

“Oh. The loud group in the corner.” Ronan must have been here for awhile if he knew what it sounded like when it was quiet. 

“That’s the one.” He raised his hand when he met eyes with the bartender and he came over to Adam. He ordered a beer and handed him cash. 

“So do you go out often?” Ronan taking the opportunity to talk to Adam while his drink was being poured. 

“Not really.” 

“Thought so. I never see you around here. I know I kinda fucked it up by demanding that you go out with me but I still think you should. Could be fun.” Ronan suggested. 

“You’re just saying that so you can prove to your brother that we actually did date. No thank you.” He told Ronan and then reached for his beer that the bartender was handing to him. “Enjoy your night.” He said and left Ronan alone at the bar. 

When he got back to the table Katrina was eyeing him. “Who was that guy you were talking to?” 

“What? Oh, no one.” He looked back to see Ronan was still looking at him. 

“He’s cute. Was he hitting on you?” She pestered. 

“I guess. I’m not interested though.” He took a sip of his beer. 

“Too bad. He won’t stop looking at you. God, he must really be into you, the whole smart sexy geeky guy.” Was Adam geeky? “Do you get hit on a lot?” 

“I don’t really go out a lot. I mean, sure it’s happened in the past but I usually date people that I know or have met outside a bar.” 

“I met my boyfriend, Thomas, here.” She told him, “he bought me a drink and we’ve been together for three years. Luck of the Irish.” 

Adam had no intentions of getting picked up by Ronan tonight. He just wanted to finish his beer and go home. He was helping Blue tomorrow pack up clothing orders and take to the post office. Her side business was booming, people all over claiming to love Blue’s originality and unique style and the way she sews mismatched pieces together. Adam thought it was a bit random but Blue told him that it all had a purpose. 

When Adam looked back over to the bar Ronan was gone. He looked around the rest of the bar to see if he moved or if he actually left. Not being able to see him, Adam’s shoulders relaxed. He finished his beer, wished Sarah a happy birthday again, hugged Amanda goodbye and went to leave. A young woman stopped him by the door. 

“Are you Adam Parrish?” She had a Welty’s T-shirt on, Adam didn’t come here enough to be recognized by the staff. He nodded. 

“Here, this is for you. From the guy at the bar.” She gave him a piece of paper with a number on it. On the back in messy handwriting said  _ in case you change ur mind. Or want to get a beer sometime. As friends.  _

-

Ronan spent his Saturday afternoon with his younger brother. Matthew still lived in Virginia working at an animal shelter and volunteering in his spare time with their mother in the community. Every few weeks he would drive up to visit his older brothers and sometimes still get them to go to church on Sunday. Declan was always available but Ronan over the years had stopped going. He only went for Easter mass and midnight mass on Christmas. They were eating sandwiches at the park, Matthew stopping every few bites to pet a dog that ran up to him.  _ Dog Whisperer, _ Ronan thought. 

“You seeing Declan at all?” Ronan asked with his mouth full. Matthew knew to plan his trips to see his brother separately. 

“Yeah. I’m staying over at his place tonight and we’re going to church tomorrow. You can come too if you want. I know that’s not really your thing anymore.”

Church stopped being Ronan’s  _ thing  _ when he told the priest he was gay in the confessional and he asked Ronan to repent for his sins and that God would eventually forgive him. Ronan didn’t even know if he had sinned yet, he’d never been with a man, just thought about it. After that he stopped going, but he did enjoy to give Father Samuels an angry glare when he showed up with his family every Christmas. He told his mother first, knowing that she was never really religious, only becoming so when she married her husband. Aurora would never judge her children’s choices and embraced Ronan. Matthew was so happy for Ronan, but cried because he felt that Ronan was somehow pained, feeling he held this secret for many years. Ronan held him as he cried. Declan was the last person Ronan told, thinking he would respond how his Dad would have. Saying something like, “it’s a phase” or “who knew you were such a fairy?” Instead, after driving around for hours Ronan went to Declan’s dorm at Aglionby and told him he was gay. Declan just said, “I know.” What? How? Did his Mom tell him? “No, Jesus, Ronan. I’m your brother, I just know things. It’s not that hard to tell by the way you look at people.” 

“Yeah, I can’t go tomorrow anyways. I’ve got work to do.” Ronan told Matthew. 

“I’d love to see some of your paintings, Ronan. Maybe I could buy one and hang it up in the shelter.” Matthew smiled. 

“Shit, Matthew, if you want a painting I’m not going to make you buy it. I’ll just give you one.” Ronan messed Matthew’s curls. With his long, curly, golden hair Matthew looked a lot younger than he was. Ronan hated the idea of his baby brother growing up, even though he wasn’t the baby anymore. He was taller than Ronan and Declan now. 

“I want to be able to support your work. Please, let me pay!” 

“No.” He turned, trying to end the conversation. He reached down to pet a chocolate lab that was sniffing at his leg. 

“Hey, Ro, your phones ringing.” Matthew said looking at the cellphone on the picnic table. 

“Answer it.” He said, not wanting to stop petting the dog. 

“Hello, Ronan Lynch’s phone.” Matthew sounded like a little secretary. “No, ha ha, I’m not. Ronan? Yeah he’s right here.” Matthew said into the phone and then passed it to Ronan.

“Who is it?” He asked, taking his cellphone. 

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.” 

“What?” Ronan said into the phone. 

“Is this Ronan?” The person said, voice sounding familiar. 

“Yes. Who is this?”

“This is Adam. Adam Parrish, from the bar. And from accounting.” Adam sounded meek. 

“Adam?” He was actually calling, Ronan couldn’t believe it. “What’s up?” He stood and walked away from Matthew, not wanting him to overhear his conversation. 

“You gave me your number.” Adam said. 

“Yeah, and you called it.” Ronan replied. 

“Yeah.” Silence. “I was wondering why you gave it to me.”

“I don’t know, just thought you might have a change of heart over the weekend and didn’t want to wait until Monday to look up my number on your computer.” Ronan didn’t have a plan further than to pay the woman at the bar to give Adam his number. 

“Hmm.” He hummed. 

“Did you? Have a change of heart?” Ronan asked. 

“Not really. But you said you wanted to be friends.” Adam said, looking at the paper note. 

“Yeah, I guess. I feel like I owe you a beer for being an ass.” 

“Okay.” Adam said. 

“Wait, really?” Ronan sounds shocked, quickly recovering to his  _ cool _ voice. “Cool. Sweet. Alright, tonight? I could pick you up?” 

“No, that’s okay. I can just meet you somewhere. Text me an address and a time.” Adam said. 

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tonight Parrish.” He hung up and went back to Matthew who finished his sandwich. 

“Who was that?” He asked cheerily. 

“None of your business. Come on, lets go, I’ll take you to the studio.” Ronan wrapped up the rest of his sandwich to eat it on the way. 

-

Adam had finished packing up the last clothing order for Blue. She was on her phone ordering a Lyft to the post office, having too many boxes to carry. The note and phone number in Adam’s pocket weighing heavy on his mind. A phone call wouldn’t hurt. He stepped out of the room to call, getting a very bubbly voice. Whoever it was wasn’t Ronan, and soon he was speaking to the angry sounding man. He did lighten up when he realized who was calling. Adam agreed to meet him for a beer tonight, thinking in his head  _ this isn’t a date _ . 

Blue and Adam were waiting downstairs for their ride, holding way too many boxes. Once the driver pulled up Adam carried them to the trunk and got in. 

“Thanks for helping me with this today.” Blue said, looking out the window. 

“It’s no problem. That’s what friends are for.” Adam was looking at her now. When he first met he thought Blue would make a good girlfriend for him. They got along so well and always had fun together. Blue had no interest in dating Adam, she told him they made better friends. She was right. 

“What are you doing tonight?” She asked him. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Might go out and get some food.” He didn’t want to tell her about Ronan yet. “What about you?”

“I’m going to skype Gansey tonight. We’re trying to make plans for the holidays. He’s coming down for a few days after Christmas, his parents have this lodge in Vermont that they’re going to but after he is going to meet me in DC.” Blue perked up. 

“Wow, his family must be rich.” 

“Oh, my god Adam. You wouldn’t believe it, he’s like this super rich boy and his mom is running for Congress or something. He should be a total asshole that doesn’t give me the time of day, but he isn’t. I keep thinking he’s going to break up with me because I don’t come from a wealthy family.” 

“He wouldn’t do that. If he’s as amazing that you say he is, he wouldn’t.” Adam reaffirms her. 

“Speaking of Christmas, do you want to come down for it?” She asks, pulling out her phone to look at the holiday dates. 

“Sure. I have a week off from work, I could probably come down a day before Christmas Eve and maybe leave on boxing day. I have some stuff I want to do on my time off.” 

“Awesome. Mom will be happy to see you.” Blue smiled at him. The car pulled up to the post office and they hopped out and got the boxes from the trunk. When Blue was at the counter Adam pulled out his phone and saw a text from Ronan. He didn’t recognize the name of the bar but he recognized the street it was on, only a few blocks from Adam’s apartment. 

-

Adam walked to the bar and saw Ronan waiting outside, wearing the same leather jacket he wore when he was sitting in his office. He looked edible. When Ronan saw him his face relaxed, his jaw didn’t seem as tense. 

“Parrish.” Ronan greeted him. 

“Ronan.” Adam nodded. “Have you been here before?” He asks, inspecting the outside of the building. It had dark brown bricks and some graffiti on the side, but it looked cool. Like college kids would come here and pose out front for their Instagram. 

“Yeah, a few times. It’s pretty cool. Want to go in?” He asked. Adam let him lead, always a little nervous in a new environment. His hearing made him more quick to inspect everything, trying to get a layout of the place. Where the bathrooms were, any exits, watch out for random tables he could bump into. Ronan watched Adam look around like a lost puppy. 

“You good?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I’m deaf in my left ear so I always like to see where everything is in a new place.” He explained, becoming more confident when he told people. Most people don’t ask why he’s deaf. 

“Oh. Is this too loud for you? We could go.” Ronan offered. 

“No, it’s okay. As long as we can sit at a table or something.” They found a table in the back that was quiet enough. Ronan told Adam to have a seat and he’d go get their drinks. Adam still had a hard time letting people pay for him, but Ronan insisted. 

From this angle he could see Ronan leaned against the bar and raise his hand, holding up two fingers. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open and throwing a few bills at the counter. He got the drinks and didn’t stay for the change. 

“Here you go, Parrish. An ‘I’m sorry beer’,” Ronan said sitting the beer in front of Adam. He took the beer and cheersed to Ronan, smiling. 

“I was so happy you came.” Ronan told him, taking a gulp of his beer.

“You didn’t think I’d show up?” Adam asked, leaning in so he could hear him better.

“I don’t know, I guess I was worried you wouldn’t.” Ronan shrugged.

“Well, here I am. Drinking my ‘I’m sorry beer’.” He smiled. “This doesn’t count as a date. So don’t tell your brother anything because I will deny it.” 

“I know. Believe me, I don’t talk to my brother. Only when he talks to me.” Ronan took another large sip, his glass already a quarter empty. 

“So, you work at an art gallery?” Adam asked, remembering the conversation from when they first met. 

“Yeah. It’s more like a studio but they have a room for featured work and people can go and look at it.” Ronan was playing with the leather bracelets on his wrist. 

“That’s cool. You must be very creative.” 

“I guess. I just like to paint. I didn’t graduate high school so there was no way I’d get a real job.” He said, then continued, “but being an artist  _ is  _ real. People in this city are so stuck up it’s like if you don’t have a 401K you should just kill yourself.” 

“I’ve definitely noticed that,” Adam took a sip of his beer. 

“You from here?” Ronan was looking directly at Adam, his eyes flicking down to his mouth every so often. 

“No, I moved here after school. I’m from Virginia. I don’t have any reason to go back, except my friend Blue is from there, her family usually invites me to spend holidays with them.” Adam explained. 

“I’m from Virginia, too. My mom still lives there at the house I grew up in. We have a farm.” Ronan said. “You don’t talk to your family?”

“No.” Adam said quickly, not wanting to get into it. 

“Sometimes families suck. My dad wasn’t the greatest, but he’s dead now.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Adam watched Ronan pull at his bracelets now. 

“It’s whatever. My mom was a mess after he died. She shut down completely. Declan took it upon himself to step up. I moved out after that, I started to live with my friend, Dick. But, Mom turned out alright. She’s redone the whole house, does a lot of stuff for the community.” He spoke very highly of his mother. 

“That’s good. Good for her. Sounds like you really love her.” Adam smiled. 

“Yeah. She’s the best.” Adam noticed Ronan had finished his beer, he was still nursing his. “I’m gonna go get another, you good?” 

When Ronan came back he was holding a beer in each hand. “Here.” He said handing it to Adam.

“What do I owe you?” Adam asked, taking a big sip of his beer so the new one wouldn’t get flat.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.” Ronan looked more comfortable with one drink in him.

“I can’t let you, your brother says you have an overspending problem. As your accountant I can’t allow it.” He teased. 

“Consider it a tip to my new hot accountant,” Ronan blurted, his eyes widened like he didn’t mean to say that outloud. The two just took an awkward sip. 

“Is it just you and Declan?” Adam asked, breaking the silence. 

“We’ve got a younger brother, Matthew. He still lives back home. He’s actually visiting this weekend. I saw him earlier today and he’s staying over at Declan’s. That's who answered my phone.” Ronan explained.

“I was wondering who that was.” Adam laughed. “Your family must be happy for Declan and Cleo.” 

“Mom’s thrilled. First kid to get married, maybe only. Matty’s happy because we’re going to be two of the groomsmen. That’s why Declan wants me to bring a date, probably so someone could watch me the entire night and make sure I don’t ruin anything.” Ronan looks tired already of talking about the wedding.

Then, a muted sounding ring started. Ronan reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. “What do you want, Dick? I’m busy.” 

“Ronan, I won’t take up too much of your time. I’m about to skype with Jane. I was just wondering if you had Declan’s phone number. I doubt you told him what I asked you to.” Gansey asked.

“Yeah, you’re sure right I didn’t. I don’t know, can’t you just message him on facebook or something?” He hung up. 

“Who was that?” Adam asked. 

“My friend, Dick. He wants me to congratulate Declan for him.”

“Oh,” Adam finally took a sip of his second beer. He ended up staying at the bar with Ronan way longer than he anticipated. Ronan walked him back to his building, claiming that his bus stop was in that area. 

“I had fun tonight. Thanks.” Adam said, hands in his pocket. 

“Yeah, so did I. Thanks for agreeing to come.” Ronan was watching him awkwardly. 

“Declan hasn’t said anything else to me about us ‘dating’ or ‘breaking up’.” He told him.

“Good. I told him to leave you alone. I didn’t tell him we broke up, though. I hope you don’t mind. I can though, maybe I will tell him the next time I see him. Adam Parrish broke my heart right before Christmas.” He teased. 

“No! Don’t, that will make me look cruel. I still want a good working relationship with your brother.”

“Fine, I’ll wait til after Christmas to tell him. Only if you can hold out that long.” When Ronan looked at Adam it felt like that’s all he saw. No building in the background, no other people walking on the sidewalk past them. Just Adam.

“I think I can do that.” Adam smiled. 

“Fake boyfriend?” Ronan held out his hand for a shake. 

“Fake boyfriend.” Adam shook it. 

-

Ronan thought about walking the twenty minutes back to the bar and then twenty minutes from there to his actual bus stop, but he was too cold. His leather jacket not providing him with enough warmth. Instead he took the subway to Declan’s neighbourhood. He followed someone in through the front door and took the elevator up to the ninth floor. Cleo answered the door, surprised to see Ronan. 

“Did you get lost?” She asked him. 

“Can’t I come see my brothers?” She opened the door for him. He found Matthew and Declan on the couch looking at Matthew’s phone. 

“Ronan? What are you doing here?” Declan asked when he saw his brother sit in a chair across from him. 

“Was in the neighbourhood.”

“Doing what?” Why was Declan always suspicious of him?

“I was with Adam.” Not wanting to say anymore, he didn’t want to ruin Adam’s trust. 

“Oh,” Declan said understandably. “You know, he doesn’t really talk about you at work.”

“That’s okay,” Ronan folded his arms, “it’s a place of work not a place of gossip.” He could hear Cleo laughing in the kitchen. 

“He’s got a point, Declan. Hey, are you gonna come to church with us?” Matthew asked. 

“No. I’m just here for a visit.” Declan was looking at him, happy to have both brothers in his home. 

“Do you want something to drink, Ronan?” Cleo asked, pouring herself a glass of wine. 

“No, thanks. I won’t stay long.” Matthew made a disappointing noise. 

“You can stay as long as you want.” Declan told him. It was a rare sight seeing Ronan in his home. 

His phone buzzed, it was a text from Adam.  _ Hope you got home alright.  _ He would respond to him on his walk back to the subway. He wanted to try to enjoy the company of his brothers, and his new sister, he supposes. 

  
  


-

  
  


Blue and Gansey had sorted out their schedules for Christmas. Blue and Adam would take the train down to Henrietta for Christmas Eve while Gansey flew out to Vermont to his family’s lodge. Then after Boxing Day Blue and Adam would take the train back to DC, Adam wanted to get some extra work done and relax for a few days, while Blue would pick Gansey up from the airport. They would spend a few days together, Blue inviting Adam to meet her boyfriend, but he declined wanting her to have as much time with him as possible. Gansey was only staying for three days, having to take the train back to New York. He invited Blue with him to Vermont but she didn’t want to, spending Christmas with his family was too much too soon and she didn’t want to spend money on a plane ticket. Gansey offered to buy her one but she declined quickly and with venom. One thing Blue noticed about Gansey was that he just  _ spent  _ money like he wasn’t even thinking he was spending money. When he took them out to dinner, he paid. When she wanted to go to an art museum in New York, she wanted to pay for the entry, but he was too quick to even notice a transaction was made. He paid for taxis, brunch, he even bought her an I (HEART) New York T-shirt. (“Come on, Jane. Everyone needs one of these. Should I get Adam one?”) She didn’t want to spend her Christmas away from her family, and she  _ really  _ didn’t want to spend it with a rich family who might ask her which tax bracket she falls into. 

Adam spent his last week at work before the week long break making last minute gift lifts for women at Fox Way. He usually gave them gift cards which they were all thankful for, but this year he wanted to get something new. He’s so appreciative that they took him in as their own, door always open for him whenever. He thinks they’re happier to know that he and Blue are strictly friends and he’s not some guy just trying to kiss their daughter. He continued to work, making notes on his computer of which clients he needed to schedule appointments with in the new year, when he got a text from Ronan. 

_ Hey fake boyfriend - you want to come to the Barns for christmas and/or New Years? xoxoxo ur fake boyfriend.  _

_ Sorry _ , Adam replied,  _ already have holiday plans. Maybe you should get a fake boyfriend with a less busy schedule.  _

Ronan wrote back right away,  _ that’s ok u make a pretty good fake boyfriend. Do u at least want to hangout again in the new year?? _

_ Sure.  _

  
  


-

Adam’s first day back to work after his week off felt like it was dragging on forever. He drank numerous cups of coffee just to keep him going, praying that five o’clock would come sooner. 

“Parrish, you got a sec?” Declan asked, standing in his doorway. “We sent out our wedding invitations but I just thought Ronan would add you as a plus one instead of sending you a separate one. That cool?”

“You really want me at your wedding?” Adam knew he was only being invited because Declan thought he was dating his brother. 

“Yeah. I mean, I know how much Ronan will appreciate having you there. And some people from the office were invited, too. So you won’t be completely alone.” Declan smiled at him and shut his door as he left. 

Adam decided he would tell Ronan this in person rather than sending him a text. He was going to be seeing him next week, Ronan invited him to his studio’s gallery night where the artists work would be featured and for sale. Adam didn’t know if it was just him that would be going or some more of Ronan’s friends. But for the little that he’s known Ronan he doesn’t really talk about his friends. Except for Dick. Adam had to clarify if that was his actual name or just a cruel nickname Ronan gave him. He said that his real name was Richard but he didn’t fucking call him that. 

The night of the gallery Adam left work and took a bus over to the address that Ronan gave him. It wasn’t a huge building but the glass windows in the front were large enough to see almost everything. If you didn’t have money to get in you could just stand outside and look at it all. Ronan said he put Adam on a guest list so he was able to walk in, the man at the front said Ronan’s display was on the left end, around the corner. He saw Ronan standing in front of a large piece of art, splattered with reds and oranges, almost resembling a sunset. Ronan was talking to a few people, either other artists or friends of artists. They didn’t look like people Ronan would befriend, but neither did Adam. Adam approached, not wanting to interrupt their conversation, but when Ronan saw him he smiled and reached in for a hug. 

“Adam,” he said as Adam returned the hug. “Glad you could make it.” 

“Yeah, hi,” he was a little taken aback by the hug, “is Declan here?” He looked around for someone to be watching him. 

“No, why would he be?” Ronan looked confused by his question. 

“Oh, no reason. Is this your work?” He points to the painting behind him. 

“Yeah.” Ronan looks at it like a proud father watching his son hit a home run for the first time. 

Adam leans in the get a better look at all the brushstrokes and then looks to see the small card next to it. “Untitled No. 21. By Ronan Lynch. Acrylic on canvas. You don’t title your work?” Adam asks when he looks back up to Ronan. Ronan was watching Adam look at his painting, watching his eyes grow as the bright colours mixed together. 

“No, I can never really think of a name.” He said honestly, if anything a little embarrassed. “Got any ideas?” 

“Isn’t it a little late now?” Adam looked at Ronan, forehead creasing. 

“I could always find a marker somewhere, scratch that out.” Ronan smiled at him. “Come on, want to see my studio space?” 

“Don’t you have other people coming?” Adam didn’t want to take him away from the event. 

“No. It’s fine, no one can buy this anyway. I’m giving it to Matthew for his birthday in March.” Ronan told him. He waved his hand as if to say  _ follow me _ and lead him down the hall to a locked door. Once unlocked Adam got a good look of where Ronan Lynch spent most of his days. There was a big wooden table in the middle with paint splatters everywhere. He saw lots of unfinished work and some that looked finished, but he wasn’t sure. He ran his fingers across all the paints that were sitting on a shelf. 

“Wow,” Adam spoke quietly, feeling more intimate back here than where the rest of the crowd was. “This is really amazing. You’re… really talented.” 

“Thanks,” Ronan said, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. “You hungry at all?”

“You have food in here, too?” Adam asked, a little shocked and a little disgusted. 

“No,” Ronan laughed, “we could go get a bite to eat. If you wanted. I know a good place near here, do you like sushi?” 

That’s how Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish ended up at a sushi restaurant. The managers had to ask them to leave because they needed to close, Adam, embarrassed for overstaying checked his watch. 

“Holy, shit. It’s 11 o’clock. We were there forever.” He said, holding the door open for Ronan as they walked into the street. 

“I told you, it’s good sushi. You don’t want to stop eating it.” 

“I guess so.” Adam agreed.  _ This wasn’t your second date,  _ he kept telling himself. “Ronan, Declan told me that he wasn’t going to give me a wedding invitation because he thought you would just add me as your plus one.”

“Oh, yeah, he was telling me about that over Christmas.” Ronan said. 

“I don’t want to take advantage of your brother. Maybe you should just say we broke up.” 

“Yeah. I keep meaning to. I promise, Adam, I will. You don’t need to worry about the wedding. I’ll deal with it.” Ronan told him. They said goodnight and went their separate ways, promising to keep in touch for more sushi dinners and I’m sorry beers. 

-

Adam hadn’t heard from Ronan for over a month. No calls, no texts, no weird comments from Declan. He must have told him that they broke up and that it wasn’t messy enough for Declan sabotage his work. Not that Adam thought Declan was the type to seek revenge. Blue and her boyfriend were going strong, to Adam’s joy. He was happy to see her laugh and smile all the time. Their one year anniversary of being pen pals was coming up and Blue said they were going to do something special for it.

“What, is he coming down to visit?” Adam asked when he was over at her apartment one night cooking dinner. 

“No.” She was mum. 

“Are you going to visit him?” Adam didn’t understand why she was being vague. 

“No.” 

“Are you going to go out to a nice restaurant and order a table for one but bring your laptop so you can skype him?” Blue laughed at that. 

“No. We’re going to have an… intimate skype call.” She said, trying to hide what she meant. 

“Blue, are you going to have  _ skype sex _ ?” Adam’s mouth was agape. Blue’s face was turning red, as red as her skin allowed. “How do you even do that?” Adam asked, mind running wild.

“I don’t know! We’ll figure it out. So don’t call me on Saturday night because I have a very important and potentially very confusing date.” 

“Okay. God. I will not be calling you.” Adam laughed, putting the onions he chopped in the frying pan. 

“What are you going to do this weekend?” Blue felt bad that now most of her free time involved Gansey. She felt like she saw Adam less and less. 

Adam, stirring the onions around, said “I don’t know yet. I might see if Amanda has anything going on.” 

“You should get out more, Adam. We need to find you a date. Someone exciting that will take you out places so you can get out of that apartment of yours.” She suggested. If only she knew. 

“I’m okay for right now, I’m happy focusing on my work.” It wasn’t a lie. Adam never based his self worth on if he had a partner or not. He was fine being single.

“Whatever.” Blue said. “It is nice to have someone on speed dial to call in the middle of the night when you’re just begging for it.”

“Ew, Blue. Is that all Gansey is to you?” 

“No, but if he’s good at it I’m not going to turn it down.” Adam made a gagging noise at her, not wanting to think about her sex life ever again. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Ronan,” Declan said into the phone, “I’m having all of the tuxes done at the same place so all the groomsmen will match. I need you to go in some time for the fitting. Please do it soon, though.” 

“Fine. Where is it?” Ronan grumbled into the phone.

“It’s at this boutique store on Carleton Street. I’ll text you the address.” 

Once he got the text from his brother he decided on a whim to call Adam. He hasn’t spoken to him since January and with almost two months between them he really missed him. He still hadn’t told Declan that their relationship was over, he never talked about Adam to Declan. Declan never really questioned it, his brother was a very private person. 

“Ronan?” Adam said, surprised to see his name pop up on his phone. 

“Hi. I hope this isn’t a bad time?”

“No, I’m just at work. What’s up?” He could hear papers shuffling in the background.

“I have to get my suit for the wedding fitted. I was wondering if you had any interest in coming with me?” 

“Why?” Adam asked, there was no real reason for Adam to be there except to look at Ronan changing and telling him how good he looked in a well fitting suit. 

“I don’t know, could be fun. Haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“Well, you haven’t called me.” Adam replied. 

“I didn’t know it was my job to call you.” 

“Maybe it is.” Was Adam flirting with him? 

“How about I call you tomorrow afternoon and we can go to this suit fitting?” Ronan said as smoothly as he could. He could hear Adam take in a breath. 

“Okay. I’ll be done work at 4:30. I could meet you at the place?” Adam suggested. 

“Sure, I’ll text you the address. See you tomorrow, Parrish.” 

  
  


Adam showed up at the boutique to see Ronan standing shirtless with a pair of dress pants on and a man kneeling down taking his inseam measurements. The look on his face said  _ this man is dangerously close to my crotch.  _ Adam couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Don’t laugh at me, Parrish. I didn’t invite you so you could laugh.” Ronan complained. 

Adam looked at Ronan and felt his stomach drop. He didn’t know how  _ toned _ he was. He didn’t have abs but his stomach was tight and looked muscular. His skin was tan and he had a giant, dark tattoo down his back. He saw the edges of it peek out at his neck but he didn’t know how big it actually was. 

“What happened to your shirt?” Adam asked sitting in the small chair beside where Ronan was standing. 

“Don’t even get me started on the shirt, Parrish. You’re late. Where were you?” He demanded. 

“I know, sorry. I had a phone call that ran long. Are you almost done?” He was looking at Ronan in the mirror now, it felt less intimate to look at him like that than to stare at his back. 

“I fucking hope so. I’m not the one getting married, why does this suit have to be so detailed?” 

Once the man taking Ronan’s measurements was finished he went behind the curtain to change back into his clothes. He was handed the suit bag and was told that Declan would be covering the cost. 

“He better be, not like I’d ever wear this again.” Adam wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or the man behind the counter. 

“You don’t think you would have a high class function to attend in the future?” Adam asks. 

Ronan laughs at that. “No, not unless Dick marries this Jane chick. But I wouldn’t even be allowed to wear this suit, he’d pick out a whole new one for me.” Adam smiled at him. 

They decided to drop Ronan’s suit bag off at his studio instead of hauling it around with him for the rest of the night and they went back to the sushi place around the corner. Adam said they had to leave an hour before closing to avoid the embarrassment. Adam ordered a water and Ronan order Saké. He waited for Rona to be at least one drink in before he brought it up. 

“Ronan, I know you didn’t tell your brother that we broke up.” 

Ronan just eyed him. Not entirely sure what to say. 

“He’s been so quiet to me at work. I know if you told him we broke up he would say  _ something _ . He’s a Lynch for God’s sake.”

“I’m sorry, Adam. I swear I’m going to tell him. Just when it’s closer to the wedding so when he offers up his stupid friends for me to bring I can say that I’m still emotionally hurting and then he would drop it. I promise.” Ronan explained. 

Adam breathed. Yup, he was going to do it. “I’ll go to the wedding.” 

Ronan, totally unaware of what Adam just said kept apologizing and making promises. “Wait, what? You will? You’ll go as my date?” 

“Just, don’t be weird about it. And I want you to tell Declan that when we ‘break up’ it’s on good terms and we’re going to remain friends. That way it will be less awkward at work for the two of us.” 

“Parrish, you sly dog. Deal.” They shook on it. 

  
  


-

  
  


Instead of mailing his RSVP back to Declan, Ronan took a picture of the filled out invite with Adam Parrish listed as the plus one and texted it to him. Declan replied saying how lazy his brother was but thanking him for the RSVP. He called Adam to tell him the dates and times of everything. 

“I have to go to the rehearsal dinner?” Adam asked. 

“Yes. Just be thankful you don't have to go to the bachelor party.” 

“Even if you said I had to go to that I wouldn’t. Where is he making you go for that? A strip club?” Adam asked. 

“No, thank god. I think he knew having a gay brother that wouldn’t fly. We’re just going for drinks.” 

“That will be fun then. When is that?” Adam sounding slightly envious that he wouldn’t be having drinks with Ronan. 

“Two weeks before the wedding. It’s coming up kind of fast, you ready?” Ronan asked. 

“I guess I am.” Adam knew how fast this wedding would come. He’s had his outfit ready for weeks now. 

“I will probably have to hold your hand. And dance with you.” Ronan said softly into the phone. 

“That’s fine.” Adam told him. “I’ll use some hand cream so they’re soft.” He could hear Ronan exhale. 

“I gotta go but I’ll hopefully see you before the wedding. If not I’ll pick you up for the drive down.” 

“Bye, Ronan.” Adam was screwed. 

-

Every time Ronan was free to hangout Adam was busy helping Blue. She was trying to meet a deadline of sewing and shipping out her Spring Sale and she was running behind. Blue sewed all the garments and Adam packed them and wrote out each mailing address. It took them four days in total to finish it all and get them all sent out. Blue repaid Adam by taking him out for a dinner. He suggested that she should just buy them a bottle of wine and they can order Thai food, which she was even more excited about. They sat on her couch and ate dinner. After spending four days together they should have ran out of things to talk about, but they didn’t. Blue told him that she was going to a wedding with Gansey in a few weeks and Adam didn’t want to tell her that he also had a wedding to attend. It was too much to explain (oh I didn’t tell you? I have a fake boyfriend and I’ve been lying to my co-worker for six months. And I think I actually like him now!) and Blue would guilt him into telling the truth. He changed the topic of weddings back to the Thai food.   
  


-

Adam was sad to be missing out on a night of drinking with Ronan but he received a play by play of the entire night from Ronan sending him texts. He was sending so many texts he thought that it must look rude that Ronan was on his phone the entire bachelor party. Adam thought that Ronan would tell everyone to shut the fuck up and that he was texting his boyfriend. He told him how annoying Declan’s other friends were, how drunk his younger got already only two drinks in. Later on in the night he even texted  _ i miss u x  _

Adam thought about his last text all night. Imagining another universe in which Ronan Lynch would send him  _ i love u x _ . The wedding was going to be impossible, but he needed to keep himself calm for Declan. He needed to practice hearing himself being called Ronan’s boyfriend since he was going to introduced as that a lot. He didn’t even think about what Ronan’s mother would say when he met her. Ronan talked about how she thrilled she was when Declan got engaged, how must she feel when her son introduces her to his first boyfriend. 

The morning of the rehearsal dinner Ronan picked Adam up in his BMW. He didn’t really drive it in the city, being able to get everywhere he wanted to go on a short bus or subway ride. Adam had never been in a car that nice before. He got in and threw his overnight bag in the back and hung his suit bag next to Ronan’s on one of the hooks in the back. 

“Morning.” Ronan said, handing him a large coffee. “I got it black. I don’t know what you like in it so there’s cream and sugar in the bag.” 

“Thanks,” Adam said doing his seatbelt up. He added one cream packet and one sugar packet. “Do you want money for gas?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Parrish. I’m dragging you over state lines for this wedding. I’m just lucky you agreed to do it.” Ronan said as he pulled onto the freeway. 

The one thing Ronan and Adam had never really talked about was Virginia. The only thing they ever said was that they were both from there and Ronan lived on a farm. The drive looked familiar to Adam, recognizing different sites and houses along the way. It looked  _ too  _ familiar. It was almost like Ronan was driving to 300 Fox Way. Where the hell were they going? Soon they were coming up to Henrietta. The giant sign reading WELCOME TO HENRIETTA, there was a chance to turn left and drive past the town but instead Ronan was driving through it. 

“Where are we going?” Adam finally asked, a tad panicked.

“Singers Falls,” Ronan told him. 

“How far is it from Henrietta?” Adam asked looking out the window and seeing his hometown. 

“I don’t know, like 30 minutes? I used to go to school here it was a bitch to get a bus in from the Barns.” 

“I grew up here.” Adam said quietly. All the bad memories started to rush him. 

“What? Really? In Henrietta?” Ronan sounded surprised. What were the odds? He looked over at him and could see how tense Adam was. “Shit, Parrish. Do your parents live near here?” 

“If you turned right and kept driving down that dirt road you’d drive right past the double wide.” He said like he’s done it a thousand times. But on his bike, not in a car. 

“Fuck. I’m sorry man, I had no idea we grew up so close. If I'd known I would have taken a different way.” 

“It’s fine. Just, keep driving.” Adam shut his eyes until the car came to a full stop. He opened them to see a gorgeous looking farmhouse with acres and acres of land behind it. Two large barns stood behind the house, Adam could see why Ronan called it the Barns. He almost regretted turning Ronan’s invite to spend Christmas here, it was probably beautiful in the winter. 

“Welcome to my home.” Ronan said as he got out of the car and went to grab the luggage. Adam could see people setting up wedding decorations in the back. He grabbed his bag from the backseat and followed Ronan inside. It was  _ busy.  _ People running back and forth, people running up and down the stairs, he could smell food being made in the kitchen and someone yelling about a tie from upstairs. Ronan made sure to be on Adam’s right side and whispered, “if it gets too loud let me know.” 

They set their bags down at the bottom of the stairs and Ronan brought him to the kitchen to find his mother. She was busy decorating cupcakes for the rehearsal dinner, frosting on her cheek. Adam didn’t think she looked like Ronan at all, she had long golden hair, soft features, and a gentle touch. She set the cupcake she was decorating down when she saw her son. “Ronan!” She said, her voice sounding like honey. She reached for his face to kiss his cheek and then gave him a hug. He was so much taller than her, he had to bend down to capture her in his grasp. 

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Adam.” Ronan turned to Adam and smiled at him. They had practiced this a lot on the drive up. Different ways of saying it so they would both be prepared. 

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you. Thank you for having me in your home.” Adam went to shake her hand but she pulled him in for a hug too. 

“Oh, Adam. I’ve heard  _ so _ much about you.” She held his face in her hand, taking him in freckle by freckle. “I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so happy that you have made my son so happy.” She sounded emotional. 

“Mom,” Ronan warned, not wanting her to cry. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t cry, I promise! Please, call me Aurora. If there’s anything you need don’t be afraid to ask. Our home is your home.” She let go of Adam’s face and turned back to her cupcakes. 

Ronan brought Adam up to his room to drop their bags off. “Sorry, she’s a bit much.” 

“It’s fine. She seems really sweet. You can tell how much she loves you.” Adam said, looking at the room that was supposedly Ronan’s. It looked like at one point in time that it  _ was  _ Ronan Lynch’s bedroom but it was clearly redone to be a guest room. 

“I hope you don’t mind but we have to share the room. There’s a lot of people staying over. If not I would totally take the couch and let you have the bed to yourself.” Ronan said apologetically. 

“Oh,” Adam never thought about the possibility of sharing a bed with Ronan, “that’s okay. It’s just for one night.” 

“Yeah.” Ronan looked out the window to see people setting up. He spotted Matthew amongst the crowd and dragged Adam by his hand downstairs to meet him. 

“Ronan!” Matthew gelled from the field when he saw his older brother. “Is that Adam?” He was yelling so loud, everyone else turned to see who Matthew was talking to. 

“Yes. Shut the fuck up you’re being loud.” Ronan pulled him in for a hug when he was close enough and tossed his curls. 

“Adam, this is my little brother Matthew.” Ronan introduced them, Adam had to tilt his neck up to see Matthew. He wasn’t as little as Ronan was describing earlier.

“Adam, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m so happy you are dating Ronan. I was worried for a while he wouldn’t find anyone!” And then he pulled, felt more like a yank, Adam in for a bear hug. 

Adam, never having a brother had never experienced this before. He thought he was going to stop breathing. 

“Jesus, let him go.” Ronan said, smacking his brother on his shoulder. 

“Sorry.” Matthew said, smiling down at his brother. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Matthew.” Adam finally said. 

“Where’s Declan?” Ronan asks Matthew. 

“He went into town to pick some food up for tonight. Cleo’s in the second barn organizing the dance floor.” 

“Jesus, there’s gonna be a dance floor?” Ronan complained.

“Ro, it’s a wedding. Of course there’s gonna be a dance floor so I can bust out some moves.” Matthew then started to wave his arms around, which Adam assumed was his version of dancing. 

“Whatever. Have you met Cleo before?” Ronan turns to Adam. They start walking towards the second barn. 

“I think briefly at last year's Christmas party.” Adam said, once they walked into the barn he recognized her short dark hair. Adam remembers at the party she was on Declan’s arm for twenty minutes and then left to use the ‘ladies room’ but when she came back she smelled of smoke. 

“Hey, Cleo. You gotta second?” Ronan called for her. She looked up from assembling the dance floor and smiled at Ronan. “This is Adam. My boyfriend. He works with Declan, you may have seen him before.” 

“I remember, nice to see you again.” She shook his hand. 

“Hi. Congratulations on your big day.” Adam said. Her hand was soft and her nails were painted red, he’s never seen a bride at a wedding before but he thought they usually were supposed to look ethereal, but Cleo was clearly her own person. 

“Thanks. It’s been the most stressful week of my life and I can’t wait for tomorrow to be over.” She said bluntly. 

“You and me, both.” Ronan said. Adam’s smile faded. After tomorrow they were no longer going to be fake boyfriends. 

“Have you seen Declan yet? He’s way worse than I am. He’s stressing over every detail. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t end up in the hospital after this weekend.” Cleo joked. 

“I’m trying to avoid him as long as possible.” Ronan said. “Is there anything you need help with in here?” 

“Not in here. But if you wanna go to the other barn and make sure all the chairs and tables are set up, that’s where the rehearsal dinner is going to be.” 

They walked back to the first barn, which was even bigger than the one they were just in, and saw that no tables or chairs had been set up. 

“Looks like we’ve got a lot of work to do, Lynch.” Adam said as he started to assemble tables. 

  
  


-

  
  


The rehearsal dinner was from seven to ten and only the wedding party and Cleo’s family were attending it. It was a small affair but the Barns was decorated to fit hundreds. Adam supposed that’s where the dinner will be held tomorrow night. Fairy lights were strung up outside and inside the Barns making it look very romantic. Adam sat at the table next to Ronan, who was sitting next to Matthew and Aurora. Some speeches were made from two of Declan’s friends and a few of Cleo’s friends and cousins. Matthew made an impromptu speech about how excited he was that they were getting married and after 23 years of only having brothers he was so happy welcome Cleo into the family. Declan nodded at his younger brother. Adam could tell how much this family loved each other, even if Ronan and Declan didn’t always get along. One of Declan’s friends from college kept pouring everyone drinks and Adam lost track of how many he had. He felt fine sitting, but he could feel it in his head. After dinner someone set up a projector to show a slideshow of photos of baby pictures of Declan and Cleo and photos from their relationship. Ronan hung his arm over Adam’s chair while he relaxed into the chair and watched. Adam could feel every time his hand brushed Adam’s shoulder, he was nervous he was going to start sweating in his nice shirt. By the end of the night Ronan’s hand was resting comfortably on Adam and he leaned his head down against Ronan’s shoulder. They looked like a real couple. They felt like a real couple, but Adam had a bit to drink, he wasn’t sure if that was real or just his imagination. A few people left the barns to sit in the field to watch the fireflies dance around in the sky. Adam, feeling bold, asked Ronan if he could talk to him back at the house. Ronan told him he would meet him back in his room, he needed to quickly speak to his mom. 

Adam, drunkenly climbed the stairs, looking at all the family photos he missed earlier. He saw one of Ronan, Declan, a small Matthew, Aurora, and someone who must have been Ronan’s father. He looked exactly like him.  _ Ronan will look like that in a few years,  _ he thought. He heard the back door open and scurried into his room, waiting for Ronan to enter. He sat on the bed, bouncing slightly. Adam would drink in the past but never to this point. Was he missing out all his life, he seemed to be in the perfect state of fun and dizzy. Ronan opened the door, he had taken his sport coat off and was wearing a crisp white dress shirt with his suit pants. He undid the top button and rolled his sleeves up. He looked  _ sexy.  _

“Thanks,” Ronan laughed, scratching the back of his head. 

“Did I say that out loud?” Adam was very drunk. 

“Yeah. You did.” Ronan looked at him sitting in his childhood room on his childhood bed. 

“You ever bring any girls up here?” Adam asked. 

Ronan laughed again. “No, Parrish. I didn’t.”

“I didn’t bring girls into my room either. But, I grew up in a trailer park with a piece of shit dad, so that’s why.” 

Ronan sat next to him on the bed. “I didn’t bring girls up here because I’m gay.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Adam giggled, “I forgot. Forget I said that. What about boys?”

“You’re the first.” He looked at Adam. 

Adam leaned in and captured Ronan’s lips with his. They felt so soft against his own, he brought his hand up to his face to try to bring him a little closer. Even trying to get his tongue in Ronan’s mouth. Ronan pulled away. 

“You’re drunk, Parrish.” He said, resting his head on Adam’s forehead. 

“I want this.” Adam said with his eyes closed. 

“You don’t know that.” He was whispering now. 

“Yes, yes I do.” He tried to kiss him again. Ronan pressed his arm on Adam’s shoulder to stop him.

“Why now?” He asked. Adam’s cheeks were red and his eyes were wide, he looked 19. “How come you want me now and not a month ago? Or when we went out for sushi? Or when I took you to my art gallery? Or when we got drinks all those times? Why now?” Ronan asked him, standing up. 

“I - I don’t know. I think I wanted you then, too.” He was quiet. Adam didn’t hook up often, but he’s never been turned down like this before. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor tonight. You can have the bed.” Ronan told him, eyeing the space on the carpet that looked comfiest. 

“Ronan, please. I won’t do anything. Don’t sleep on the floor.” Adam pleaded with him. 

“It’s  _ me, _ I don’t trust, Parrish. I don’t trust myself not to do anything.” Adam’s mouth was in the shape of an O. “I’m gonna get you some water. You had a lot to drink.” And then Ronan was gone. 

-

Adam woke the next morning with a pounding headache. His cheek was damp from drooling in the night and when he rolled over he saw a full glass of water on the side table. He took it, not knowing if it was for him or not, and chugged it. He set it, almost empty, back on the table and began to rub at his forehead. 

Ronan, from the floor pipped up, “how you feeling, champ?” Adam’s eyes shot open, not remembering that he was sharing the room with Ronan.

“Terrible. How much did I drink last night?” He groaned. 

“I’d say a lot. Do you remember anything?” Ronan asked, sitting up.

“Not really. I don’t think I brushed my teeth last night.” He probably had horrendous morning breath. 

“Hmm. Well, I won’t let you get that drunk tonight. You’re the one that was supposed to be watching me.” 

“I’m sorry Ronan. I don’t know what happened to me last night. I promise, I won’t drink at all. I feel so hungover.” 

Ronan got up to sit next to Adam, he placed his hand on top of his and squeezed it. “It’s okay. Today’s the important day, as long as your not sloshy for that we’ll be fine.” Adam shoved him. 

“Why’d you sleep on the floor? Nervous I would barf on you in the night?” Adam really didn’t remember anything. 

“Something like that, Parrish. Come on, let’s get showered before the wait for the bathroom starts. We live on a well, hot water goes fast.”

Breakfast was less awkward than Ronan anticipated. Having Adam kiss him last night and not remember was a double edged sword, he wanted to have a relaxing day without Adam hating him for taking advantage of him in is drunk state, but he also wanted to kiss Adam again and never stop. That’s all he was going to be thinking about, the feeling of Adam’s lips against his, the small noises Adam let out when he tried to make the kiss deeper. 

“Ronan, can you hear me?” Adam asked, waving his hand in front of his face.

“Huh, what?” Ronan was pulled from his daydream.

“I said, can you pass the butter?” Adam had a piece of toast in front of him. Ronan slid the butter tray to him. “Are you not gonna eat?” 

“Not very hungry. I’ll eat later.” He caught his mother looking at them. This was going to be the longest day of Ronan Lynch’s life. 

-

Ronan and Adam got dressed in their room, Adam helping Ronan with his tie. When he was finished he looked him up and down and told him he looked handsome. “You should wear a suit more.” Is what he said. 

“You clean up pretty good too, Parrish.” He told him, itching at his collar. “I think the guests are starting to arrive.” He said as he looked out his window and saw car after car drive up. 

They went down to the backyard and started to greet guests. “Hi, this is my boyfriend.” “Kim, this is my boyfriend, Adam. Adam, this is our neighbour, Kim.” “Larowski, this is my Adam - my boyfriend, Adam. Larowski and Declan went to school together.” 

Adam, smiling at everyone and shaking hands felt comfortable. Sometimes Ronan would wrap his arm around him, other times he just held his hand. A few people from work came up to Adam and said they had no idea he was dating Declan’s brother. “How long has this been going on for?” Jennifer asked. “Six months?” Adam thought. 

A few minutes before they needed to sit for the ceremony someone said something to Ronan. “In a suit and tie just like the old days, ey Lynch?” Adam and Ronan turned around to see the person talking to him. Adam watched Ronan roll his eyes and hug whoever this person was. 

“Dick.” He said. 

“Good to see you, too.” He smiled at him, taking in a long look of Ronan in his suit. Then he turned to Adam, holding his hand out. “You must be Adam,” Adam shook his hand. He had a firm grip like he was meant to shake hands. “Richard Gansey.” Adam’s arm went limp. It seemed that everyone noticed the odd reaction. 

“You good, Parrish?” Ronan asked. 

Adam swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. He lets go of Gansey’s hand and looks up to see Blue walking down the trail into the field looking for her date. She spots Gansey and smiles and then she sees Adam. Her smile quickly faded into confusion and then she saw he was holding someone’s hand. She looked angry. 

“Do you two know each other?” Ronan asked looking between his best friend and his boyfriend. 

“I know Blue.” Adam said, a bit pale now. 

“You know Blue?” Gansey said the same time Ronan said, “Blue?” 

“Jane.” Gansey explained, Ronan knew who Jane was from pictures Gansey had sent him but he’s never heard of her as Blue. 

“Adam,” Blue said, finally joining the group, “what the hell are you doing here?” 

“Jane, you know him?” Gansey asked, placing his hand on the small of her back. 

“That’s my best friend. Adam.” She told him. Gansey made a face of realization. 

“Ronan, how funny is it that we’re dating a pair of best friends.” He didn’t pick up on the cool tone of Blue’s voice. 

“You’re dating him, Adam?” She sounded hurt that her best friend had a secret boyfriend and that he was so serious with said secret boyfriend he was attending a wedding with him. 

“Blue, I can explain.” Adam desperately wanted to sort this out before the ceremony. 

“Just forget it Adam.” Blue turned on her heel and walked over to where everyone was sitting. 

“I’m thoroughly confused, but I’m going to check on Jane. Blue. Adam, it was nice to meet you.” Gansey could be heard calling for Jane as he went after her. 

“What the fuck is happening?” Ronan asked him. Adam let go of his hand to rub his face. 

“I never told Blue what we were doing. I knew if she knew the truth she’d guilt me into telling Declan the truth. I had no idea that Gansey was Dick.” He tried to explain. 

“Well, I had no idea that Jane was Blue. Look, this wedding can’t get fucking worse. Let’s just get through it and then we can forget it.” Ronan tugged on Adam’s hand so they could sit. 

“I don’t want to forget it.” Adam told him. 

“Parrish, don’t do this now.” Ronan looked serious, he looked at Adam like he was begging him to keep his feelings to himself.

“I can’t. I can’t keep going on  _ pretending.  _ I - I want to be your boyfriend.” Adam looked anywhere but at Ronan. 

“Please, Parrish. Let’s talk about this after.” Then the officiant announced the wedding was about to start so they took to their seats. They were sitting a few rows in front of Blue and Gansey but Adam could feel her stare burning into him. 

The moment Cleo walked down the makeshift aisle Adam could feel himself relax. The attention was off him and on her. She looked stunning in her lace dress, veil covering her face but her red lipstick shining through. Adam looked up at Ronan and saw that he was looking at his brother the entire time. They were making the same face, a small smile that said so much. Declan’s said  _ I love you _ and Ronan’s said  _ I love you. _

After the ceremony, the dinner was held in the first barn where the rehearsal was held. Ronan and Adam didn’t say much the rest of the night but Adam did refuse every drink someone offered him. Cleo’s father stood to make a speech which made almost everyone cry. Aurora hadn’t stopped crying since Declan said his vows. Adam watched Ronan’s family and saw how much love they had for each other, maybe Adam didn’t deserve Ronan’s love. He occasionally looked back at Blue who was talking to Gansey and a few of their friends from Aglionby. She was laughing, looking like she had forgotten the entire fight. Adam got up and approached their table, looking at Blue. 

“What?” She snipped. 

“Can I please talk to you?” He looked over at Gansey who looked more fierce than earlier, obviously protective of her. 

“Fine.” She placed her clutch on the table and they walked outside. “Talk.” She demanded. 

“I’m not really dating Ronan.” He told her truthfully. 

“Gansey told me everything that Ronan said to him. I know you’re dating him, stop lying to me.” She looked sad now, that her best friend still wanted to lie to her. 

“Ronan asked me to be his pretend boyfriend so his brother would stop bugging him about getting a date to this wedding. I, for whatever dumb reason, went along with it.” Adam felt ashamed. Saying it out loud made him seem pathetic. 

“Don’t you work with Declan?” Blue, clearly confused.

“Yes, believe me, I know how it sounds. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d make me feel guilty and tell Declan the truth.” She snorted at that.

“Can you blame me? Adam, you tricked this entire family that you’re dating Ronan. Gansey said he’s never even had a boyfriend before!”

“Blue you’re not making me feel any better.” She put her arms around him and her head rested on his chest. 

“Isn’t Gansey hot?” She asked. 

“God, yes.” He said into her hair. He could feel her laughing against him. 

Everyone began to file out of the first barn and head over the the second barn for the dance. Ronan spotted Adam and Blue embracing out in the field and decided to walk over to them. 

“I think Gansey’s having separation anxiety.” He said to Blue. 

She looked up at Ronan and snarled at him. She let go of Adam and saw Gansey waiting by the doors of the barn and quickly ran over to him. 

“Can we talk?” Ronan asked. Adam nodded. They went back in the house and up the stairs to the room they were sharing. Adam sat on the bed and Ronan felt déjà vu. “First, I gotta know, did you have anything to drink?” 

“No, I had sparkling water all night.” Ronan nodded and sat next to Adam. Then he grabbed his face in his hands and pressed their lips together like he only had a limited amount of time to do so. Adam’s eyes widened and then closed as he leaned into the kiss. Ronan’s mouth felt familiar, it tasted familiar. 

“Oh my god.” Adam said as he broke from the kiss, “we kissed last night.” Suddenly remembering. 

“Technically you kissed me.” Ronan looked smug. 

“Oh my god. Ronan, I was so drunk. Jesus. That must have been a terrible kiss.” He sounded worried that his first impression was a terrible one. 

“It’s fine, I kinda liked it. But you  _ were  _ super drunk and I wasn’t just going to make out with you.” He leaned closer to Adam, slowly kissing his lips again. 

“What about now?” Adam asked against his lips. “I’m not drunk now.” 

“I know.” Ronan slid his tongue into Adam’s mouth and clumsily took his suit jacket off. He threw it to the floor and then reached to get Adam out of his. They did their best getting undressed without breaking their kiss but Adam stopped to get his pants off. 

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” Adam said, a little out of breath.

“Me too.” Ronan was taking his pants off sitting back on the bed in just his underwear. 

“What do you want to do?” Adam asked, feeling pent up. 

“I don’t know. Whatever you want to do.” He leaned down to kiss him again, hands roaming Adam’s body. Adam let out a small moan at the feeling of Ronan’s warm hands touching his torso. Adam reached down and began to rub Ronan through his underwear. “Fuck, Parrish.” He panted. 

“Adam. Say Adam.” 

Ronan grinned, “fuck,  _ Adam.”  _ He kissed along Adam’s neck. Adam took Ronan’s cock out of his pants and with his other hand he took his cock out. He rubbed them together between his hands. 

“Jesus, Christ. Fuck.” Ronan swore, he had never felt anything like this before. Adam kissed at his jaw as he continued to jerk the two of them off. 

“You like this?” He asked, his breath heavy. 

“God, Adam. I’m not going to last long.” Adam began to move his hand faster, pushing Ronan to the edge. He came all over Adam’s hand and soon Adam came. Ronan collapsed on top of Adam, panting and swearing. 

“Holy fuck.” He said as he rolled onto his back. He looked over at Adam, his cheeks flushed. 

“I don’t think you’re going to need to tell Declan that we broke up.” He leaned in to kiss Ronan again. 


End file.
